November 21st, 2014
I came to Death Row as a young man void of emotion or care.
I learned over my fast-paced years in life to eliminate feelings
and emotions all together.Life for me was a bit more than simply
dysfunctional, chaotic, or difficult. It was instead simply tragic
at the least. I never shared anything with people -- no feelings,
thoughts emotions, etc. I simply existed in life rather than
Coming to Death Row
so many years ago meant nothing to me because I didn't believe I
had anything to lose since I don't fear death and didn't value my
own life at the time. These years spent on Death Row made me
slowly face myself in ways I always avoided before. Even so I
found myself always damaged by the past life to make me have no
progress in this current life.
Gradually over the years
family and friends faded away without a word or feeling of loss
for/with me. My contact with the world became limited in a way I
knew not possible. Suddenly out of nowhere a few years ago two
sisters entered my life to change it in ways still amazing me.
They showed me what love can look like, feel like, or become. They
allowed me to live parts of life through them. That young man I
was became a grown matured man. I became fully free and fully
alive even here confined to Death Row.
But as life has always
shown me in the end I lose the things I need most and find myself
destined to be lonely in life. In a world full of billions of
people just one person does have the power to change the world. We
all have the power to change each other's lives in beautiful or
terrible ways. After so many years in life alone I finally saw for
myself how just one (or two) people can change even the worst of
lives. I'm not searching for anything here. I'm asking if there's
anyone wanting to be and make a difference in our world? As people
we all want to be heard, to be noticed, to be useful, to be
remembered. I don't want pity or such. I ask only that you allow
me to see life through you and hopefully with you. A small window
into your world can make a big difference for me. I too have
myself to offer since I am very much worth getting to know. My
life's story is quite interesting if only given time and sincerity
to learn it.
So when I spoke about us
as people being able to change or at least improve the world why
not start with being an impact in just one life that could pay it
forward to another? Why not you be such person for me and I to
you? You don't have to open a full doorway into your life for me
since I'd be happy with just a small window to share.
Thank you for at least
reading my message as well as showing interest in making a
difference for this long fight against Death Row.
KELLY FOUST #431-106
Chillicothe Correctional Institution
P.O. BOX 5500
Chillicothe, Ohio 45601